I will live out my time here in Charleston, but I will put my other plans on hold for a bit. I guess I have known what my problem has been for some time.
Blase: apathetic to pleasure or excitement because of excessive indulgence or exposure
I have traveled. I have eaten. I have partied. I have loved and made love. In short, I have lived, and I have done too much of it. I remember when I left Bridgewater, food had lost it's flavor. Well, now in a lot of ways life has lost its sparkle.
I realized when I read my thoughts from 5 years ago I might need to take some time to clear my head. I said the same thing to myself a month ago. When I read about Epicurus, it became exceedingly apparent.
Elijah first, then Moses and finally Jesus went to the mount for 40 days and fasted. I do not have the will of the Son of Man, but I think a similar period of withdrawal would be good for me. Elijah went to die, Moses went to find God, Jesus to overcome temptation. I suppose my goal will fall somewhere between them all... To let go of myself and temptation and maybe in the process see what God is.
But first, I must select my mount. Maybe that's why I've had this camping/canoe trip planned all along.
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