For the first 25 years of my life I spent it doing things that were
practical, logical, and well reasoned. I was trying very hard to get
to a point I just left. Now, filled with an abundance of free time, a
lack of real stress or obligation I am letting my more playful side
hold onto the reigns and take me where it may.
It's an odd problem, but it takes quite a bit of effort to fill 16
hours of a given day with interesting, fulfilling activities. Usually
I will have a silly idea like... Hey! Wouldn't it be fun to go do
<insert seemingly meaningless creative activity>! But then I give
myself a list of things I must do like pay bills, clean my house, do
laundry, go work out, buy groceries, study for xyz. Almost my inner
parent. Even when I was living in Columbia I was doing those things or
I would fill my time with "acceptable" activities like talking online,
working in my yard or watching movies. Now I am able to just give in
to whatever silly impulse I come up with. I killed the power to my
time filter. I'm finding I am becoming a much different person than I
would have been otherwise. I also find myself spending a lot of time
by myself doing the things I did when I was a kid like photography,
reading, just walking around stores and paying close attention to what
they sell, asking lots of questions to strangers who know a lot about
things I am totally ignorant to. I am also a lot more open to what
other people want to do since my own free time is less precious. I
liken it to the difference in parenting by grandparents and parenting
by your real parents. All in all I feel like I am becoming my own
person again and it's liberating though a little disconcerting because
I don't have a clue where this is going to take me...
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