I am always coming up with plans. I think I like ideas more than the reality of executing them. But anyway.... The latest is high school biology teacher.
I really think this is good for now. I am still in the exploration mode of life and this type of job will give me the chance to explore and work for the foreseeable future. And with a work day that ends at 3pm, I will be free to have a ton of other hobbies I wouldn't even be able to consider if I went back to finance. I also have the option of working anywhere in the country I want - even in rural areas that might not have any other real opportunities. It will give me a chance to work/explore at the same time.
I've got another meeting with the college of education this Thursday and I registered for classes at the tech school for the summer session. I should be able to knock out the pre-reqs by the end of fall semester. The other nice thing is that since I have almost no income, I am eligible for Pell grants which will make school much cheaper... and for the loans I do take out, most are forgiven if you teach in high needs subject or geographic areas. It looks like starting salaries are about 40k for the schools near where I live which will be more than enough for a comfortable lifestyle, and there are also a few good schools within walking distance of my house, which is pretty sweet too. I also went by the local high school and tried to set up an appointment to get some classroom time with a teacher, though he referred me back to the university since there are so many background checks that need to be conducted these days.
I was also really excited about the idea of starting a tax lein hedge-like fund, but the damn hurdles you have to jump through to be a registered investment advisor (even in this state!) are insane. It's all state-run, but the process is standardized across the nation. The first of several forms I had to fill out was over 100 pages. Scratch that. At least for now. It would certainly be a good thing to combine with a career in education, but it will take quite a while to set up. In the mean time I will continue investing in tax auctions and acquiring properties along the way.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Each day
Take a moment to meditate, for clarity, for peace...
Take a moment to reflect on what I did, and what more I could have
done... Be deliberate
Monday, March 21, 2011
Trainhopping
I saw these rough, dirty looking kids in packs. Soot on their hands, dirt under their fingernails, matted hair, smelly with ratty looking dogs by their sides. I first spotten them in alphabet city in NYC. I saw them again in Savannah this past weekend. They looked like what I imagined from Cormac McCarthy's The Road or from a Mad Max episode.
I did some reading and tried to figure out what they were. It appears they are freight hopping vagabonds. Living on what they find, going where the tracks take them. I came across this quote and wanted to share in, particularly in my quest to sort out all of my views.
"The average man grows up to live a regular life and to work as a part of it. We are taught to believe that there is a necessary relation between doing our daily tasks, eating our regular meals, going to bed in a fixed place, rising at a pre-arranged hour, wearing a certain kind of clothes, that there is between all this and being 'good' an unalterable relationship: as also between being good and being happy. Religion gives its awful sanction to this theory, habit fortifies it; successive generations of what we call civilization even create an instinct which even makes us think, or at least say, we like it: When suddenly to one of us comes the discovery that we can stop all this and yet live - nay, grow fat, perhaps, and vigorous and strong; drop worry and responsibility... everywhere, see everything... and when that discovery comes, it is apt to be fatal."
-John J. McCook
I did some reading and tried to figure out what they were. It appears they are freight hopping vagabonds. Living on what they find, going where the tracks take them. I came across this quote and wanted to share in, particularly in my quest to sort out all of my views.
"The average man grows up to live a regular life and to work as a part of it. We are taught to believe that there is a necessary relation between doing our daily tasks, eating our regular meals, going to bed in a fixed place, rising at a pre-arranged hour, wearing a certain kind of clothes, that there is between all this and being 'good' an unalterable relationship: as also between being good and being happy. Religion gives its awful sanction to this theory, habit fortifies it; successive generations of what we call civilization even create an instinct which even makes us think, or at least say, we like it: When suddenly to one of us comes the discovery that we can stop all this and yet live - nay, grow fat, perhaps, and vigorous and strong; drop worry and responsibility... everywhere, see everything... and when that discovery comes, it is apt to be fatal."
-John J. McCook
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Rereading old posts
It has been an interesting year. I also have some unfinished business. I still need to wrap up the CFA and the CAIA. I also need to spend some serious time at the ecovillage. It's the perfect time of year for living there. I just called and scheduled a visit. I'll spend a weekend there within the next month or so. My house is vacant again on May 31, so hopefully I can spend an extended amount of time there before I move back in. People have such different views there. I am looking forward to it.
This really makes me see how much I need to switch to a career in education. I don't think I can live the rest of my life without these extended breaks to explore and experience different walks of life in different places. I don't think there is a much more easily achievable way to ensure I have the flexibility to do this with a stable source of income (not to mention a reasonable measure satisfaction with my job.) Alright, I think I just talked myself into going to the college of education again to see who can help me.
This really makes me see how much I need to switch to a career in education. I don't think I can live the rest of my life without these extended breaks to explore and experience different walks of life in different places. I don't think there is a much more easily achievable way to ensure I have the flexibility to do this with a stable source of income (not to mention a reasonable measure satisfaction with my job.) Alright, I think I just talked myself into going to the college of education again to see who can help me.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Coming out...
I haven't written a lot lately, and that's probably a good thing.
I went to a concert the other week, and the singer remarked "I don't write songs when I am hula hooping in the backyard in the sunshine." I don't either. I use this blog to sort out difficult ideas and emotions, to put them on paper and see what they look like. It's not a daily diary, but that doesn't mean I haven't been thinking - I have actually been doing quite the opposite.
I feel like I just came out of the closet.
I just told my sister-in-law about my recent views on religion and that I go to the Unitarian Universalist church. I have shared my views with close friends, other devout Christians, and even family members. Though this was the first time I have shared them with someone who was close to me, who I knew would find fault with them.
I didn't go into the same level of detail with my grandmother about my views, but to the extent that I shared my biggest differences in theology, I felt like there was a reasonable agreement to disagree. That she respected my search and understood my perspective. I felt like my sister-in-law was left with the simple conclusion that I was wrong and I was doomed to hell. I think her biggest fears are that I am going to lead her kids, particularly my niece who looks up to me, into the fires of hell along with me (and all the other UU's). After our conversation I almost want to write a book just to explain my point of view and how I see Jesus and how he fits into my wider views on spirituality. It would certainly take that long to explain it all in detail...
I think the biggest break I have made is with my own ability to grasp "truth... and by that I mean the nature of God and the universe. I think Plato does a good job of describing this in his allegory of the cave. This also means I do not believe in the inerrancy of the Bible (or any holy book) which is a precursor to everything else most fundamentalists believe.
I feel like the Bible, for the most part, becomes almost an idol for most Christians. Without TOTAL faith in every word of the Bible it becomes untenable to support the spiderweb of claims which underpin "Southern Christianity." By acknowledging that there are imperfections I free myself to, as Jefferson said, "separate the diamonds from the dung." I found his work, to be particularly helpful in at least beginning the process of sorting out my own views. I had not realized what I stranglehold it had on me and the extent that it kept me from seriously considering other viewpoints (at least without an overly critical skepticism). The book that was most helpful in this process was One Bible, Many Voices: Different Approaches to Biblical Studies, By Susan Gillingham.
I feel liberated.
I am taking classes at the Buddhist center right now and reading several books. I am also enjoying a class at the UU called Heart to Heart , which was actually written by a former minister here at the Church I go. It's based on the idea of open sharing and deep, deep listening that we often don't get a chance to do. I feel like I have finally opened myself up, admitted my own ignorance and and finally started SEARCHING again. It's a good feeling.
I also feel challenged.
I was asked to give a brief outline of my views during an inter-generational service at church in a few weeks. It's not a big deal, but I respect quite a few people at the congregation and I am taking this very seriously, both for myself, and for them. I really do want to be able to state rather clearly and succinctly what I believe and define an outline for how to live my life.
I feel like the entire point of my life thus far has been the search for meaning and purpose, but I have never sat down and written out what I believe. It has been an overarching goal for the past few months to sort all of this out and I am glad I was finally given a due date for the assignment.
I went to a concert the other week, and the singer remarked "I don't write songs when I am hula hooping in the backyard in the sunshine." I don't either. I use this blog to sort out difficult ideas and emotions, to put them on paper and see what they look like. It's not a daily diary, but that doesn't mean I haven't been thinking - I have actually been doing quite the opposite.
I feel like I just came out of the closet.
I just told my sister-in-law about my recent views on religion and that I go to the Unitarian Universalist church. I have shared my views with close friends, other devout Christians, and even family members. Though this was the first time I have shared them with someone who was close to me, who I knew would find fault with them.
I didn't go into the same level of detail with my grandmother about my views, but to the extent that I shared my biggest differences in theology, I felt like there was a reasonable agreement to disagree. That she respected my search and understood my perspective. I felt like my sister-in-law was left with the simple conclusion that I was wrong and I was doomed to hell. I think her biggest fears are that I am going to lead her kids, particularly my niece who looks up to me, into the fires of hell along with me (and all the other UU's). After our conversation I almost want to write a book just to explain my point of view and how I see Jesus and how he fits into my wider views on spirituality. It would certainly take that long to explain it all in detail...
I think the biggest break I have made is with my own ability to grasp "truth... and by that I mean the nature of God and the universe. I think Plato does a good job of describing this in his allegory of the cave. This also means I do not believe in the inerrancy of the Bible (or any holy book) which is a precursor to everything else most fundamentalists believe.
I feel like the Bible, for the most part, becomes almost an idol for most Christians. Without TOTAL faith in every word of the Bible it becomes untenable to support the spiderweb of claims which underpin "Southern Christianity." By acknowledging that there are imperfections I free myself to, as Jefferson said, "separate the diamonds from the dung." I found his work, to be particularly helpful in at least beginning the process of sorting out my own views. I had not realized what I stranglehold it had on me and the extent that it kept me from seriously considering other viewpoints (at least without an overly critical skepticism). The book that was most helpful in this process was One Bible, Many Voices: Different Approaches to Biblical Studies, By Susan Gillingham.
I feel liberated.
I am taking classes at the Buddhist center right now and reading several books. I am also enjoying a class at the UU called Heart to Heart , which was actually written by a former minister here at the Church I go. It's based on the idea of open sharing and deep, deep listening that we often don't get a chance to do. I feel like I have finally opened myself up, admitted my own ignorance and and finally started SEARCHING again. It's a good feeling.
I also feel challenged.
I was asked to give a brief outline of my views during an inter-generational service at church in a few weeks. It's not a big deal, but I respect quite a few people at the congregation and I am taking this very seriously, both for myself, and for them. I really do want to be able to state rather clearly and succinctly what I believe and define an outline for how to live my life.
I feel like the entire point of my life thus far has been the search for meaning and purpose, but I have never sat down and written out what I believe. It has been an overarching goal for the past few months to sort all of this out and I am glad I was finally given a due date for the assignment.
Jobs and life
My job hunt has been in full swing and I had several interviews with companies and one that I was particularly excited about. It was a management consulting role with Accenture. I would have been based out of NYC, on the road all the time and working with a variety of industries and companies. I think it would have fit me very well, but I did have very serious reservations about giving up my life here in SC. Given that it didn't work out, I think I am going to do my best to stay here and work on seeking out a job that gives me the flexibility and free time that I want in life. I am going to seriously consider going to into education. In the meantime I will probably continue to progress with my CFA and CAIA just so I have something to fall back on.
Through this process I feel like I began to sort out a loose life plan. I think over the next ten years or so I am going to pay off my house, save up some money and least enough to generate a little passive income. After that I will definitely be moving on to something like education so I have the chance to spend time with the family I hope to be starting by then. After the kids are older I think it would be nice to switch to something like local government and/or possibly be a Unitarian Universalist minister (or at least in a capacity to help people in that respect).
The rejection left me feeling a bit dejected for a day, but thankfully I was on my way to my parent's house in Salley when I received the email. If there was any ever doubt about my future, it was cleared up. After a good meal of mom's home cooking, a walk around the pond, and a few new fruit trees which I planted around the house everything was fine. Even if I never got another job, I would have to be pretty ungrateful not to be happy in an environment like that.
When I consider what I have. A nice downtown home, a house in the country, a loving family, a college degree with no student loans, great friends and a social network, reliable transportation, a great climate, good health, youth - who cares how much money I am making or what sort of job I have. I just need enough to provide for myself and have some savings. If I am honest, this job hunt has mostly been a pursuit of arrogance and image given I don't really enjoy the work all that much (certainly less than other things I could be doing with my time). I am personally not very worried about any of that (obviously, since I have taken the last two years off). I just worry what others will think of me if I don't go chase a big job. I have a fear of being labeled a failure... It's peer pressure, pure and simple. I am buying into the idea I need to have a prestigious job with good benefits, great pay, a corner office, a matching 401k, ect... but when I really consider what scares me, it's the idea of trading a large majority of my life for a paycheck and at the end of it wondering where the hell it went.
Through this process I feel like I began to sort out a loose life plan. I think over the next ten years or so I am going to pay off my house, save up some money and least enough to generate a little passive income. After that I will definitely be moving on to something like education so I have the chance to spend time with the family I hope to be starting by then. After the kids are older I think it would be nice to switch to something like local government and/or possibly be a Unitarian Universalist minister (or at least in a capacity to help people in that respect).
The rejection left me feeling a bit dejected for a day, but thankfully I was on my way to my parent's house in Salley when I received the email. If there was any ever doubt about my future, it was cleared up. After a good meal of mom's home cooking, a walk around the pond, and a few new fruit trees which I planted around the house everything was fine. Even if I never got another job, I would have to be pretty ungrateful not to be happy in an environment like that.
When I consider what I have. A nice downtown home, a house in the country, a loving family, a college degree with no student loans, great friends and a social network, reliable transportation, a great climate, good health, youth - who cares how much money I am making or what sort of job I have. I just need enough to provide for myself and have some savings. If I am honest, this job hunt has mostly been a pursuit of arrogance and image given I don't really enjoy the work all that much (certainly less than other things I could be doing with my time). I am personally not very worried about any of that (obviously, since I have taken the last two years off). I just worry what others will think of me if I don't go chase a big job. I have a fear of being labeled a failure... It's peer pressure, pure and simple. I am buying into the idea I need to have a prestigious job with good benefits, great pay, a corner office, a matching 401k, ect... but when I really consider what scares me, it's the idea of trading a large majority of my life for a paycheck and at the end of it wondering where the hell it went.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)