What I have been trying to say

I bought this shirt
and cut out what mattered
but I didn't know what to do with it
---
for a while it served as a reminder
that I had to sort some things out
make some decisions
---
but then I realized it's just an illusion
there are no "safe bets"
we don't call the shots
we're just along for the ride
we just have a choice to live
or not
to face reality
or cling to fairy tales
and egos
and stick our heads in the sand
---
we open doors
and take chances
but we don't get to choose the endings
---
but it's more than that
it's about the type of life you will live
it's the difference in free Sunday samples
at Costco
and sneaking down a habnero pepper at Stop and shop
it's the difference in breakfast in bed for your birthday
and breakfast in bed in your birthday suit
it's the difference in Thanksgiving dinner
and an the same meal with some macaroni and chese
the difference in a 20 mile bike ride
and one with a detour for some raspberries by the road,
and an imagined tour of the big house with the tree swing out front
the difference in cooking dinner
and having it get stuck in the oven and burnt to ashes
the difference in dinner with two old friends
and a 3am meal with two hitchhikers
the difference in a movie night
and a viewing of Manos: the hands of fate
the difference in a direct flight
and a first class flight straight into an overnight layover
the difference in a few flights to distant lands
and a roadtrip left up to the wisdom of locals
the difference in another 5k road race
and one in a Speedo and Santa hat
the difference in winning it big in Vegas
and being happy scamming them for quarters
the difference in a piece of fruit
and fresh cherries off a tree in California, apples from Connecticut or in a box from me
the difference in being full
and letting your grandama stuff me with homemade pasta
the difference in a free continental breakfast
and a free buffet coupon you had to haggle for
the difference in swimming in the lake
and walking on ice
the difference in a moving company
and one redneck with a Uhaul
the difference in a nice hotel
and the back of a jeep
the difference in a snow day stuck inside
and one spent sitting in the hot tub, betting who can lay in the snow the longest
the difference in a Christmas tree
and the little midget, Charlie Brown one we picked out
the difference in dancing in a bar
and dancing naked in the road
the difference in the names our parents gave us
and the nicknames we earn, Brick
the difference in the guy who knew all the right words
and the one who took 6 months to get it out
the difference in someone who just gives in
and the one that won't give up
the difference in being happy
and being in love
It's the difference in another boring life
and one worth living