TED Talk: Seduction

This TED talk is about seduction. The speaker argues (and demonstrates) it is a skill that can be learned. The trick is to know when to use it and how to use it. It is building a connection and using it to obtain what we want. Rather than being something scandalous or base, she portrays seduction as a positive form of influence. Charm. Connection. Vulnerability. Appeal. Confidence.

What would a formula look like if we tried to systematically implement it? Here is her list gathered from her travels to Cuba.

• Desire - knowing what you want and being willing to go after it. The corollary is trying to really understand what the other person is missing and being willing to draw it out and provide it. This ties to her point about arousal below. 
• Confidence - if gives you the ability to project yourself and your own image. It is necessary to be able to fully express yourself and remain fearless in the face of likely failure. An interesting, point is how much more confident Cubans are than Americans because they lack a steady stream of advertising to distort how they see themselves.   
• Body Language - Add a simple touch and let your body say what you can't say with words. She could have elaborated on this much more.  
• Arousal -  First you have to connect and interact. It requires undivided attention within the moment.  One must also differentiate between a "no" that means "no," and a "no" that means "maybe." One must draw this out and wake it up like a hibernating bear. 

This is pretty antithetical to most of what I have been trying to do in terms of reducing attachment but I suppose it still has some value. Though it seems difficult to use it effectively without getting too caught up in what you are trying to catch. 

Here's to looking for a middle way....