I eat, almost like a medieval king at an annual feast - tearing mouthfuls of meat from the bone, huge gulps of wine, swallowing as fast as I can. I do this with everything from a glass of apple juice, to a bar of chocolate. I binge. Music. Technology. Intimate moments. Ideas. It's a pretty pervasive tendency.
I don't stop to let things settle in. I don't let flavors or moments linger. I guess the most accurate word is to savor. I just use whatever is presented before me to make the feeling I don't want, go away. This could be desire, loneliness, boredom, hunger and even positive things too (such as a source of attention). I guess this is making me realize the issue is a little more expansive than a tendency to indulge. I have a tendency to binge and take things to excess. It's not exactly an additive personality, but more a tendency to overdose.
It is also making me realize I tend to appreciate things for what they can do for me rather than what they really are.
This will give me something to work on in the coming weeks and months.
No comments:
Post a Comment