Looking around the library, watching everyone else study, and feeling a little sad.

Everyone else is in groups and I am by myself. I have always done things this way and honestly I have never been able to get much help from group study other than keeping me motivated. I typically have trouble articulating my questions when I am confused and if I have just learned something I usually can't explain it very well and end up confusing everyone more than helping them.

I also wonder if my personality has made it difficult for others to want to be around me. I know as a child it was probably this way and I wonder if it still is or if I have just adapted to doing things by myself...

Googled some stuff, which didn't help my mood....
_____

Went to the psychiatrist today. Scheduled appointments for counseling and signed up to join a group with others who have ADD to help coach some basic skills. I read a lot about Strattera (what they will probably put me on) and the other other class of drugs like Adderall (mostly stimulants).

It seems like we have a long way to go, but the effectiveness of the drugs is pretty amazing given the total lack of specificity of the drugs on the particular regions of the brain - essentially it increases concentrations of norepinephrine (which does a ton of different things in the body from controlling heart rate to the flight or fight response - norepinephrine is a precursor to epinephrine which is adrenaline) by preventing the body from reabsorbing it - thus increasing the concentration in the blood. Stimulants to this and also for dopamine (which is why they are addictive and subject to abuse).

Anyway, I feel glad I am making steps to deal with it regardless of what path I choose. I also feel better now that I have included my parents in the decision.