Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Well, I have had a little time to air my latest plan to teach to my closest friends and family, and for the most part, they have all sort of just encouraged me to do whatever made me happy. I expected a little discouragement (particularly from my finance friends) to pursue a career that would offer more income and social exposure with interesting people, but they all seemed to agree with my self assessment that the open ended schedule would do me more good in the long run, and that the corporate life was probably not for me. I also, sort of realized, that though this is a good sounding idea, it's still not my passion and this is just a temporary way to pass my time until I find what it is that I love. It will be two years in college and though scholarships and federal aid, it will be a relatively inexpensive venture, so as long as I don't mind giving up the income, I will probably enjoy myself without going into too much debt.

That being said, I feel like when I do discover what it is that I enjoy, I will latch on to it like a laser beam, but until then I am going to just wander sort of aimlessly, trying my best to enjoy life as it presents itself. What was sort of surprising (though it shouldn't have been) was when I told my friends I have absolutely no clue what I want to do, they basically said "No, shit." I suppose that has always been one of my biggest fears, and it's kind of interesting that everyone knew all along and just sort of nodded their heads and accept that was a part of my personality. A friend told me a while ago a silly acronym about FEAR - false expectations about reality. I suppose there is a lot of truth about that. We sort of walk around with these secret fears and then when we air them, basically no one cares. It's funny how things work out like that. Anyway... that's one step closer to being an open book.

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